On the Absence of Alcohol

The Galactic Collective has no alcohol.

This is not due to prohibition, moral objection, or bureaucratic oversight. The Collective simply never discovered it.

Alcohol is produced through fermentation. Fermentation is the process by which microorganisms convert sugars into waste products. The waste product, in this case, is ethanol.

Arguably, then, beer is yeast excrement.

Cheers.

The process also produces carbon dioxide, which causes the fermenting substance to bubble, foam, and emit a pungent odour. The colour and texture change, and to any outside observer, the substance appears to be decomposing.

Naturally, every species in the Collective reached the same conclusion: the food has gone off. Chuck it out.

This is a sensible response.

Humans, at some point in their history, looked at a bubbling, foaming, foul-smelling container of decomposing grain and thought: I'm going to drink that.

They did.

They did it again.

They have been doing it for approximately ten thousand years.

This is not a sensible response. But it does explain rather a lot about humans.