Minutes of the 4,012th Meeting of the Naming Standards Committee

MINUTES OF THE 4,012TH MEETING OF THE NAMING STANDARDS COMMITTEE

LOCATION: Conference Suite 7, Central Administrative Complex, Level 2,891

PRESENT: Chair Mollusk-Briath; Vice-Chair Oon; Members Teff, Krindal-9, Pso, Uvva (remote — 3-second signal delay)

APOLOGIES: None received (Member Ghaal has not been seen in 14 years and is presumed to still be on the committee)

Item 1: Approval of Previous Minutes

The minutes of the 4,011th meeting were approved with one correction: the species formerly referred to as "the Blurry Ones" shall henceforth be recorded by their preferred designation, "the Optically Challenging." Vice-Chair Oon noted this was their fourth name change this cycle and requested a moratorium. Motion denied.

Item 2: Naming Request — New Star System (Sector 77-G)

A newly catalogued binary star system in Sector 77-G requires formal designation. Three proposals were submitted:

1. "Gleaming Twins" — submitted by Member Teff. Rejected on grounds that it anthropomorphises celestial objects. Member Teff protested that stars are not anthropoid and therefore cannot be anthropomorphised. Chair Mollusk-Briath ruled the objection irrelevant.
2. "System 77-G-4401" — submitted by Chair Mollusk-Briath. Vice-Chair Oon called this "aggressively dull." Chair Mollusk-Briath responded that dullness is a feature, not a defect, of standardised naming. Heated exchange followed. Recess called.
3. "Blinky and Glow" — submitted anonymously. Source later identified as Member Pso's child, who had accessed the submission portal unsupervised. Despite being formally ineligible, this proposal received the most favourable informal response. The Committee voted to table the item indefinitely.

Item 3: Ongoing Dispute — "The Void" vs. "Undesignated Region 6"

The 900-year dispute over whether the large empty region between Sectors 40 and 41 should be called "The Void" or "Undesignated Region 6" remains unresolved. Member Krindal-9 proposed a compromise: "The Void (Formerly Undesignated Region 6)." This was rejected by both factions.

Chair Mollusk-Briath observed that the dispute has now lasted longer than most civilisations in the affected region. No action taken.

Item 4: Complaint from Species 4,019

Species 4,019 has filed a formal complaint regarding their numerical designation, arguing that a number is not a name. The Committee noted that Species 4,019's actual name consists of a subsonic vibration lasting forty-five minutes, which cannot be rendered in any Collective filing system. The complaint was acknowledged and filed.

Item 5: Any Other Business

Member Uvva's audio cut out during a point of order regarding semicolon usage in hyphenated species names. It is unclear whether this was a technical issue or a deliberate act. No investigation was requested.

NEXT MEETING: To be scheduled. Chair Mollusk-Briath indicated he "needs some time."